If you know or have ever met those “perfect” couples that claim to rarely have relationship arguments or fight about anything. Rest assured their relationship may not live up to the pretty picture they are painting.
In many loving relationships behind closed doors. There are countless moments or events that can push each partner to the breaking point.
These lovers’ spats can have a wide range. They are often relationship traps you fall into which result in silly or pointless arguments that develop over time.
13 Dumb Arguments All Couples Have
Couples who argue and fight are not destined to ruin their relationship. However, this will add strain and stress to a relationship if left unchecked or confronted. Especially for a long period of time.
Here are 13 dumb and all-too-common fights many couples have. With possible solutions on how to solve them.
1. Arguments About Bad Habits Or Gross Hygiene
If he’s leaving his dirty underwear laying on the floor for your friends to see. Or she’s making the bathroom shower a deathtrap with slippery shampoo or clogging it with hair. Almost all relationships will argue over bad habits or gross hygiene at some point.
Sure, they might give you a few laughs if you mention them to your friends. However, they are definitely something that needs to be confronted to avoid further tensions or dumb relationship arguments in the future going forward.
Possible Solution: If your partner has an annoying habit or is exhibiting poor hygiene that is slowly chipping away at your tolerance. You should confront them about it before it escalates
Take the time to sit down and set boundaries that will be respected by both partners. Talk about bad habits and why they bother you. Think up ways together that these could be improved.
However, do not be surprised if your partner brings up some of your own habits or hygiene related issues you also may need to work on.
2. Fights Over Bills, Jobs And Money
Fights over bills or money, in general, can be unavoidable at times in a relationship.
If you have lost your job or your partner refuses to pay when you go out for nice meals. These issues can easily change the dynamic in any relationship and slowly tip them to breaking point.
Money problems are some of the most common reasons even the most compatible of couples fight or argue. This is because many of the things you wish to do in the relationship rely on having money available – whether this is buying a house or going on nice holidays together.
You need to be stable financially to progress healthily in most relationships.
Possible Solution: Be completely honest and open with your partner about any financial issues that arise. Together you can make a plan of action to deal with the financial problem head-on. At times this can involve speaking to a financial planner or someone that can help you can your finances back on track.
Whatever you do, do not attempt to lie to your partner or bury your head in the sand and pretend the problem is not there. This will only ever cause conflict down the road and the consciences may be more severe.
Deal with money problems right here and now!
3. The Fight About Not Spending Enough Time Together
Sometimes spending enough time together in a relationship can be difficult. If your partner is a workaholic or is often out drinking with friends.
It can be hard to confront them about it if they highly value their work or social life without causing an argument.
It may be that you do actually see a lot of each other, but you don’t seem to spend valuable time together doing fun things or having life experiences.
Over time, in either case, this can begin to eat away at even the best of couples and turn into one of the main points that come up when arguments arise.
Possible Solution: Plan ahead with your partner dates or times you would like to spend valuable time together. These can be things like planning date nights once a week that you will go out for a nice meal together. Or plan a trip or holiday together that will fit in and around their work and social life.
You can also talk about ways in which you can be included in their social events with friends. Or perhaps if they need to travel for work in the city you can travel with them and do some sightseeing in the day and spend a lovely evening together.
Look for things that help break up the routine of the relationship.
As it’s often the routine of doing the same things week after week that leads to couples having the feeling they do not spend enough time together.
4. Arguing Because One Of You Does The Chores And Housework
It’s very easy not to take notice of messy habits or your partner not doing their fair share of the housework in the early stages of a relationship.
However, slowly over time, it may dawn on you that you’re living with a slob!
If you or your partner feels that they are taking all the responsibility for the housework or chores in the relationship. Then it’s only a matter of time until arguments erupt.
Messy bathrooms, dirty kitchens, or avoidance of doing the laundry are all a sure-fire way to get under your partner’s skin.
Possible Solution: Talk to your partner and find a way to divide up the housework that you will both stick to. In some cases making a list of things that need doing each week is a good idea and allows you to easily divide up and check off the chores with a visual cue.
If they are still slacking off re-affirm what was agreed calmly and let them know what is bothering you.
Better still, make it fun! Whack on a music playlist and dance around the house together tidying up, chores don’t have to be mundane or boring.
5. Becoming Emotionally Unavailable Or Guarded
There are not many things that can put more stress and strain on a healthy relationship than when one partner decides to put up walls or becomes emotionally unavailable.
This sets alarm bells ringing for the partner trying to break through, and often leaves them wondering why on earth it’s happening.
There are many reasons one partner may decide to put walls up in the relationship or become guarded. Perhaps they are overworked, stressed about money or there is something deeper happening to them emotionally.
Whatever the cause, it’s never easy to deal with and can often lead to silly arguments about finding the root cause of the problem or change in behavior.
Possible Solution: Approaching your partner if they have put a giant wall up should always be done calmly. You never know the true reasons behind this sudden change in behavior so it's important to take their feelings into account. Try not to jump to conclusions or accusations of why they are acting this way.
If communication is not working and they still remain guarded or not themselves. It’s sometimes a good idea to suggest they talk to someone outside of the relationship.
Or perhaps together you seek couples counseling which will allow you both to open up and air any issues or grievances without either of you having the defenses up.
6. Not Being Honest About Past Relationships
Many couples will often talk about their past partners or relationships openly. While for the most part, it’s a good idea to be open and honest about your ex’s with your partner – especially if they ask you a specific question.
Problems can arise if you only tell them half the story or lie and miss out on certain details.
This is especially true if you still have active contact with your exes or perhaps are still on good terms with them.
Small lies can quickly develop into a big problem if your partner discovers you were not completely honest with them.
This is where they begin to feel like they have been lied to, and begin to wonder if you are lying about other areas of your life.
Possible Solution: If your partner is asking to know more about your past relationships, it's important to be completely honest with them. The seed of doubt in their mind is normally what will cause the majority of arguments even in a healthy relationship.
You don’t have to give them all the juicy details they probably wouldn’t want to hear. However, it’s also important to be proactive to ensure they don’t leave the conversation feeling some is a miss.
It’s also important to know, partners consistently asking questions about past relationships may be doing so for hidden reasons. So it’s a good idea to ensure you know the root cause of their curiosity after answering what they want to know.
7. The Fight About Space On The Bed Or The Bedroom
The relationship arguments about space on the bed or in the bedroom usually don’t become a problem until you are living together.
While they may seem like small things such as stealing the duvet in the night or filling up the wardrobe with shoes and clothes. It can boil over into an argument very easily if left unchecked.
We all value our space to sleep and places to store clothes or personal items. However, once the honeymoon period of the relationship has ended it can become more apparent that one partner is taking more than their fair share.
Possible Solution: Confront the issue and compromise. In any healthy relationship, it's important to know each other's boundaries. When you feel like your partner is taking over and overstepping your boundaries - communicate and speak on the issue.
If they steal the duvet or take up most of the bed, think up a possible solution and change your sleeping arrangement.
If storage space is the issue, find and create new separate spaces for you to store shoes, clothes, and other items. This will go a long way to reducing the strain or problems these issues may cause.
8. Relationship Arguments Over Jealousy Or Envy
You may be surprised to know that many arguments in a relationship can stem from a place of jealousy or envy – even if the partner would never want to admit it.
Perhaps your partner has just been promoted in work, or they have a new attractive acquaintance in their lives.
If left untreated any good relationships health can deteriorate as a direct result of being jealous or envious.
Jealousy can be quite common, so never make the mistake of thinking it won’t happen to you – or perhaps it’s you yourself who fall victim to the green-eyed monster.
Each of us has insecurities in our lives and trying to hide them will never help the relationship prosper.
Possible Solution: Be fully open and honest about what is bothering you or causing the signs of jealousy with your partner. Don't allow these thoughts or feelings to eat away at you and potentially cause silly arguments down the road.
Talking it all through is the only real way to overcome these feelings of jealousy or envy. If you do this calmly and lay your thoughts and feelings on the table, your partner has a chance to assess how their actions are affecting you.
Also, this will help you both build on a solution moving forward.
9. Fights About Your Partner Forgetting Important Dates Or Anniversaries
If you or your partner has a tenancy to forget important dates or perhaps even anniversaries. This can be pretty annoying and frustrating if you’ve been looking forward to these. Or had hoped to spend quality time together.
If this is happening all the time, it can cause frequent arguments or rifts within the relationship revolving around them caring or finding these dates important enough to remember.
With many people being workaholics, having hectic family and social schedules. It’s easy to see how important dates can slip & slide from the memory banks.
This is not always a good enough excuse in most cases, however. Key dates in any relationship calendar should be placed as a priority.
Possible Solution: Frequent reminders and verbal agreement from both partners. It's important right from the get-go to establish what your plans are for these key dates. Also if both partners are available and agree to what is going to be happening.
If it’s you that forgets quite often, or perhaps it’s your partner. Try to think of ways you can subtly remind each other.
Whether this is making them a personalized calendar or leaving notes for them in the kitchen. It will all go a long way to ensure they know what is happening and when.
10. The Crazy Vacation Arguments
This seems to be a frequent issue with many couples who go on vacation. Those in the car arguments, or rushing to catch a plane lover’s spats. It seems that taking a vacation with your partner can allow stress or tension to rise to the surface.
If a vacation or holiday has involved a lot of planning or has particularly been organized by only one partner. The stress involved with booking hotels, planes, or finding and renewing passports in time can take its toll.
Possible Solution: Try not to over-plan the holiday or vacation to the point it feels like a chore even while on holiday. Keep things simple and allow yourself time even before the holiday begins to unwind and relax.
With the help of your partner try to prepare and pack a few days or even a week in advance. This ensures there is not a manic rush to find things you need before you are due to leave.
Also, it prevents any arguments about lost items, clothing or heaven forbid your passports.
11. Romance Fading In The Relationship
When looking in on other couple’s new relationships that are still in the honeymoon period. It’s easy to see why many people would become envious of their romantic habits, and begin to wonder why their own relationship doesn’t have as much romance anymore.
These internal feelings about fading romance can often lead to arguments or one partner feeling unloved by the other.
This is also a common cause for someone putting up walls or becoming guarded in a relationship.
While it’s often an expectation of one of the partners that the other needs to be more romantic. It actually relies on both partners to keep the sparks flying and small romantic gestures going to keep a healthy and romantic relationship.
Possible Solution: The solution for adding more romance to any relationship is to make your expectations clear to your partner. Together you can arrange date nights or weekends away that makes for a good excuse to exchange gifts, flowers, or romantic gestures.
For those of you that are not too fussed about romance or romantic gestures. It may be their time that is more valuable to you.
Surprise days off work or secret holiday bookings may be a good solution.
12. The Fight About In-Laws Or Family
In some relationships, arguments can rise to the surface when family life is a big deal. Or the in-laws try to get involved or have their say.
Perhaps your partner spends far too much time with them and not you – In either case when families are the cause of a couple arguing. It’s hard for these events to not be taken personally or for the issue to cause further conflict down the road.
This is especially true if one partner decides to bottle these feelings up about your family or in-laws. If left uncontested it’s a common cause for many couples breaking up when it boils to the surface.
Family for most people is what they value most in their lives.
Possible Solution: Being open and honest about your issues or grievances regarding their family or in-laws is the only way forward. Attempting to calmly explain how this is affecting you and setting boundaries with compromise is a good way forward.
Often this is not an easy task, and may still be likely to escalate the issue. So in some cases, it’s recommended to seek out a third party like a relationship counselor.
They will help get all the grievances out in the open. With the reduced possibility for escalation. As you have both agreed to seek help for the issues and can move forward.
13. Arguments About Partners Spending Time With Friends Of The Opposite Sex
Perhaps they have been best friends for a while. Or they are a new acquaintance from work they get along really well with. In any case, it’s hard sometimes for jealousy or mistrust not to rise to the surface.
You begin to wonder things like – why is my partner not spending this time with me? Or perhaps you begin to consider that possibility something is going on behind your back.
Mistrust in any relationship can be fatal. It will commonly cause arguments or conflict revolving around this new person in their lives.
This is not helped by frequent texting or calls they may have together. This may simply continue to seed any doubt or curiosity you have about the situation. Especially if you’re left out of the loop.
While quite often it’s completely innocent, and they simply get along. It’s hard to see the full picture if you don’t fully understand why or how they get along so well.
Possible Solution: Trust and being open together is the key. Share openly with your partner your feelings and your wish to get more involved with their friendship. Explain that if they get along so well, perhaps you should all spend more time together as a group. You may be surprised to find yourself with a new bestie of your own.
On the flip-side, if you make these suggestions, and your partner immediately puts the walls up. There may be something bigger at play that you need to talk through with your partner.
Trusting in your partner is the key. If you have any doubts it’s highly recommended to talk it through. Also if needed seek the help of couples therapy to air any concerns openly.